


Letters to A Company Man

by adhdalienfromouterspace



Category: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhdalienfromouterspace/pseuds/adhdalienfromouterspace
Summary: A collection of confiscated letters from Vivian, the Shadow Sirens' youngest member, and Mario, head of Nintendo, LLC.
Relationships: Bibian | Vivian/Mario (Paper Mario)
Kudos: 2





	1. Nintendork

Dear Mario, It's been a long time since I last saw you - a decade at least. I've been a little neglected lately, more so than usual, and my sisters are being total butts again. How has Peach been doing, anyway? Is she okay? What's been going on at the company? I heard Isabelle's gotten...er...violent, and Samus can't stop inundating you with calls about a sequel to her game. Donkey Kong's over his "tropical freeze" addiction, right? All that alcohol can't be good for a 500-pound gorilla brain, right? Or am I wrong? Being stuck fighting Snowmads forever can't be good for one's sanity either, really - "Who am I? Who am I?" I'm the guy who made plumber boy popular 40 years ago, and what do I get for it? Nothing, except a cold kick to the bongos on a dead console while he lives it up in New Donk City! I could just hit him, the arrogant bastard!"

All that cranky, insane old guy rambling - it’s just rambling, right? My sisters say it is and that Kong blood is naturally prone to that kind of slander ‘cause they’re gorillas and they’re less evolved than us. I sure believe so, considering you’re the nicest guy I’ve met. Doopliss even came over to unclog my toilet, and I can’t be grateful enough for that after Daisy plopped a massive mushroom in it! No more shells for her! Anyway, I need to get some rest...talk to you later, my 1Up boy! 

Love, Vivian


	2. Thousand-Year Grind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mario" reads and scribbles back a bitter response, Isabelle harasses a street vendor for "misrepresenting their brand."

Dear Valued Citizen,

We are glad to have received your letter and sympathize with your predicament immensely. Our CEO's personal matters cannot be divulged at this time. Our employee policy is currently under revision. We appreciate your feedback and wish to hear more, please submit your complaints to my ?s box. Enclosed is a "Play anywhere, anytime." t-shirt and Mushroom Coffee mug. Thank you for your service at Nintendo LLC.

Happy play,

Mario Miyamoto.

Bowser puts down his pen shakily, then looks over his shoulder at a stern mustachioed man, tapping his foot. "Are we done yet, or are we still wasting time?!" he boomed, his wife squeezing a plush toy tightly as she leaned back into her swiveling chair, its fuzziness touching her face. "I believe we are still wasting time, sir. Bowser? Call for a toad to send up a coffee and some stimulants, please." Peach yawned, then points to the sliding mushroom-shaped door before looking down at her paperwork. 

"Yes, Peach," Bowser droned, before stomping out of the room with a portable intercom in his claw. "Calling Tayce. Tayce T. to the Arakawa Office immediately, thank you."

He sighed, then filled the air with a whistling tune - shuffling past all the identical toads and Goombas rushing the doorway. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! YOU MARK MY WORDS, N. YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY YOU FUCKED WITH ANIMAL CROSSING OR OUR COMPANY!"

Two sparks flew past him, one wearing a skull hairclip and the other brandishing a pen like a knife in the air. 

"Ha! At least we have accessible controllers! At least we give a shit about our customers!" the vendor shot back, her teeth grinding in annoyance as she jumped over a crate toward the office.


	3. Isabelle and Nina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Animal Crossing adds a grinding achievement and the vendor swears revenge. Vivian writes back in Christmas concern.

Dear Mario,

Thank you for replying...unfortunately we have had some...issues regarding the size of your t-shirt. Also, it seems that the citizens of Animal Crossing and that girl have been complaining heavily about Isabelle's implementation of a new bell-grinding system. I have a strong opposition to it, however I am unable to help at the moment due to my own game's issues. 


End file.
